


There's No Expiration Date on Grief

by Ink_Gypsy



Series: Sanctuary Singles [14]
Category: Lord of the Rings RPF (AU)
Genre: AU, M/M, Request fics, Sean Astin/Elijah Wood - Freeform, feed my muse, sanctuary singles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-09
Updated: 2017-08-09
Packaged: 2018-12-13 01:36:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11749383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ink_Gypsy/pseuds/Ink_Gypsy
Summary: Sean feels guilt over missing Daniel.





	There's No Expiration Date on Grief

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Rakshi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rakshi/gifts).



> Part of my Sanctuary universe. Written as a Feed My Muse request fic for Rakshi, who wanted Sean/Elijah hurt/comfort.

[](http://imgur.com/eqdZrH9)

Elijah had to admire Sean’s ability to concentrate on his work. Even when he used his laptop for writing, there were no distractions, no wasting time on the internet, something Elijah was guilty of far too often. So he was surprised when he saw Sean sitting at his computer, staring at the screen, his fingers nowhere near the keyboard.

“Looking at dirty pictures?” Elijah asked, coming up behind him. He had expected Sean to laugh, but instead, his lover quickly closed the lid of the laptop. “I was just kidding,” Elijah joked, but when Sean turned to face him, he looked shaken and…guilty, there was no other word for it. His light-hearted mood gone, his face a mask of concern, he asked, “Sean, what’s wrong?”

Rather than answer, Sean lifted the lid of the laptop so the screen was visible. On it were pictures of Daniel, the pictures Elijah had uploaded from the memory card to the computer during those first few weeks after he’d come to the cabin. Of course Sean hadn’t deleted them, and why would Elijah think he would have? Elijah was deciding what to say when, in a choked voice, Sean said, “I’m so sorry, Elijah.”

“What do you have to be sorry for, Sean?”

To Elijah’s horror, tears appeared in Sean’s eyes. “I was looking at pictures of Daniel,” he confessed.

[](http://imgur.com/sQgf89i)

“There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“Because I was missing him.”

Elijah felt a small pang, then seeing the tortured look on Sean’s face, wanted only to see him smile again. Sean had had a life before they’d met, and so had he, but while his had been one of pain and ugliness, Sean’s had been filled with love and happiness. “There’s nothing wrong with that either,” he said.

“When you first got here, all wanted was to help you,” Sean went on, “but as the days went on, I realized my motives weren’t so pure. I was attracted to you, and I felt so guilty about it, as if just by thinking of you that way, I was betraying Daniel.”

“You shouldn’t have felt guilty,” Elijah told him. “Daniel was a big part of your life for a long time. You loved him, and that doesn’t go away, but I’m sure he wouldn’t have wanted you to be alone.”

“He didn’t,” Sean admitted. “During those last days, he made me promise that I’d move on with my life, find someone new.”

“That’s because he loved you, and he wanted you to be happy after he was gone.”

“I told him I’d move on,” Sean explained, “but I didn’t expect to, took steps to make sure I couldn’t. I moved here and insulated myself from the world, ensuring that I’d be alone. Here in the cabin, with only an occasional trip to the general store for supplies, there would be no chance of meeting anyone new, much less fall in love with them.”

“Then I showed up,” Elijah said gently.

[](http://imgur.com/UigExOM)

Sean nodded. “No one was more surprised than me when the attraction I felt for you grew. Believe me, I fought hard against it, even had discussions with Daniel about it.” At Elijah’s look of alarm, Sean said, “Don’t worry, I haven’t lost my mind. The discussions were in my head. I suppose I conjured up Daniel hoping he’d convince me I wasn’t falling for you, but instead, he encouraged me." Sean scrubbed his hands over his face. “Elijah, I don’t want you to ever doubt how happy I am, how very happy you’ve made me, but I can’t be dishonest with you about this. I still miss Daniel.”

“Of course you do.” Elijah slid onto Sean’s lap and put his arms around Sean’s neck. “You’re still grieving for him, and probably will be for a long time. There’s no expiration date on grief, Sean, and for someone who loved as deeply as you did, it’s only natural you’d still think about your life together. You have the biggest heart of anyone I know, and I think Daniel had a lot to do with that, so you have to stop being so hard on yourself because you still miss him. I’d never expect you to forget him. You wouldn’t be the man I feel in love with if you did. You have enough love in your heart for the both of us, so I can be happy sharing you with Daniel’s memory.”

Sean looked deeply into Elijah's eyes as he asked, “How did you become so wise?”

“It’s this guy I’ve been living with,” Elijah said with sly smile. “He’s the wisest man I know, and I think some of his smarts rubbed off on me.”

Sean stroked Elijah’s cheek. “You know,” he mused, “most people never get to experience even one great love in their lives, and I’ve been fortunate enough to have two. How did I get so lucky?”

“It must be the luck of the Irish,” Elijah suggested, and lay his lips on Sean’s in a gentle kiss.


End file.
